The Jay-Cave

• Victor: Dr. Sean, Why the f*** are women so re******? How do I get them away from the assholes that treat them like shit and get with a guy like me? Do have to start being douche just to get some attention?Sincerely,Victor S.
• Seanbaby: I have some good news for you, Victor. You already are a douche, so if your Plan B is TRYING to be a douche, give it a shot.Women are fine with nice guys. You're not one of them, but if you were, I'd tell you that the problem with "nice" is that it isn't really anything. A hot woman, which I assume is the kind you're talking about in your letter, gets hit on by every guy she has or ever will meet. Is she supposed to sleep with every clumsy pussy vagrant, like yourself, who thinks to be polite while he forces small talk until he thinks of a way to ask for sex? That woman wouldn't have time to take her AIDS medicine between trips to the delivery room.Being wonderfully pleasant and agreeable isn't sexy to hot women. That's how waiters or doormen behave, and I've never seen a woman leave with one of those. But only an idiot would think the solution is to do the exact opposite and act like an asshole. If you meet a woman, act rude to her, and if she sleeps with you, expect an emotional breakdown several minutes later and 75 voicemails after you finally get the crazy bitch and her daddy issues out of your home. Lonely masturbation wins over that any day, even if someone catches you.Try to ease off on the compliments and worship and work on being interesting enough that she could pick you out of a lineup later. If all you talk about is how attracted you are to her, you might as well take your wiener out and whimper.